Every parent wants the best for their child. We might have different opinions on what our definition of best is, and that is fine, but I think it is pretty safe to say that every parent at the end of their day wants their child to live a happy, successful, healthy life.
I am no different. I want those things as well. And I am very fortunate and blessed that both of my children are in good health, always have been for the most part, and they are happy, as for success…my definition is not that of what the world’s definition typically is. Success to me is that they are living a life where they can be their authentic self without having to put on any masks or pretend they are something they are not. I want for them to be confident and free to never have to even think twice, to automatically be them without holding anything back.
I am proud to say that as far as I have ever experienced from either one of them, my children are always 100% their true selves, and they do not care what anyone around them thinks about it. They are quirky, original, kind, funny young adults
. They are my best friends in the entire world, and I am lucky to have the most amazing bond with them. It is strange that even though our bond is much different than the others’, I love how close and unique both are. It is all of those differences that I cherish and love the most about them, and neither one of them is more valued than the other. I am so blessed to have that with both of them.
Maybe appreciated a little more, as every once in a while my mind goes back to four years ago when I nearly lost my baby girl. Every parent’s nightmare, I’m sure. The way that phone call made me feel will never be forgotten. The ride to the hospital to get to her, the officer who called to tell me what he saw, the doctor calling to ask about bringing her into surgery before I got there, walking into the hospital room where I saw my beautiful angel laying there, her hand stained with blood, her feet bloody and dirty, crying in pain looking so small and knowing I could not take this for her and I could not fix it, but also knowing that she could not see any fear in my face, and this girl knows me better than anyone on this planet. Oh, those next 2 weeks were tough. Back-to-back surgeries in the hospital where the doctor told me they didn’t know how to fix her, and I was so scared that she would not be ok, not physically but mentally. Getting the news that she might never be able to use her arm again was tough; she was just turning 17. She had her birthday in the hospital, actually. And she is lucky to be alive. I am grateful beyond words for the women on the scene who wrapped her before the paramedics got there, as they saved her life for sure. If either one of you are reading this, please know that you are forever my heroes, and I am beyond grateful and thankful for what you did for my baby that day. Thank you a hundred times over! She would have bled out if they hadn’t. I am thankful beyond words for those ladies. Had they skid 5 more feet, she most likely would not have an arm, and there is that to be thankful for as well.
That first year was filled with surgeries and doctor appointments and physical therapy, and it was definitely not a very fun year for her at all. For me, I was terrified that this accident had the potential to break her, as she has been through quite a bit in her short life and this was pretty bad. Knowing that I could do nothing about it and just had to stand back and watch and wait to see was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. This is where I see what my little girl is made of; this is where I see the person she is, and it’s hard to not be able to change any of it. She struggled there at first, and I don’t blame her one bit. If I were in her shoes, I don’t think I would have been able to handle any of it with the grace she did, and I commend her for how amazing she has been through the entire thing even now. Now she is healed, and she doesn’t let it stop her or keep her from doing anything. She does her own car repairs; she is still my favorite person to move furniture with; she doesn’t ever complain about any of it.
But every once in a while my mind goes back to those scary moments, reminding me that I could have easily lost my baby that day. I could be sitting here right now with just memories of her to hold onto. And that is why I appreciate them and the connection we have just a little more deeply than before. Because we never know when we might get that call that no parent ever wants to get. Every once in a while I remember my baby could have lost her life. The use of her arm and hand is very small considering what could have been that day instead. And every once in while it hurts my heart that she has to live the rest of her life with just one arm and hand to work with, because we all want the best for our children. When I think those thoughts, I have to remind myself that she is alive. I have my baby here to be able to hold and touch, and I get to hear her laugh and see her smile and watch her grow. I have much to be grateful for.
And so every once in a while my smile gets bigger, the love in my heart fills a little fuller, and my eyes fill with tears of joy when I hug her.
To those of you reading this, if you have children, no matter how old or young they are, please never forget how much of a blessing they are and cherish every second you get with them. They are what make life worth living.
Every once in a while, squeeze them a little tighter when you hug them. They are what happiness is made of.
Bromom 